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Peter Olmsted posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Sorry to hear of Mary's passing. I have many fond memories of Christmas eve parties at the Vassbotn home singing songs and listening to the Holy City. In more recent times, I have been fortunate to attend the July 1st parties complete with cannon fire - carrying on the Vassbotn tradition of socializing and having fun. Our thoughts are with the Vassbotn family
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Phyllis Yew posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Dear Vassbotn Clan,
I thought I'd write a personal email to the family to express my thoughts about Mary's passing.
Off all the friends and family that attended her funeral, if I had been there, I would probably have been the person who knew her the least amount of time. As I talked about Nana to Phoebe and Finn this week, I found myself remembering things about her that may be inconsequential to what a wonderful person she was, but are somehow deeply ingrained in my memory of her.
Her Poppy Seed Cake and her fruit pies
God, Mary could bake! I honestly looked forward to her dinners because they would always be followed by something she had baked that afternoon that was sitting on the side table.
2. Her love for gardening
I will never forget how touched I was about the way that Mary fretted over her garden before Peter and I got married at the house. All the pruning she did (in between all the baking she did) was a tremendous gift to Peter and I.
3. The way she dressed
It didn't matter whether it was a simple invitation to dinner at a friend's house or to a restaurant, or to play bridge, I remember seeing Mary all decked out with her pretty dresses, handbag and jewellery. She took the time to dress well, as do people of her generation, and took great pride in the way she looked and presented herself.
4. Her incessant humming
Maybe it was the early signs of dementia, but I'd like to think that it was Mary being at peace with herself and with the world. I once asked her what song she was humming and she said "Oh, it's not anything in particular, just, you know, a tune in my head". The kids like this story of her always humming a tune when she was pottering around, or walking with us or just sitting in the car.
I like to think that she was still humming a tune in her head when she didn't speak anymore.
5. Her laugh
I could always tell that it was Mary laughing from across a crowded room. She had a very distinct laugh or chuckle, which she never lost right up till the end. I remember being so surprised when we visited her at the home, when she would look at the kids and suddenly let out a laugh/chuckle. It was so special for the kids to see and hear her laugh and they would talk about that all day.
After reading the obituaries and condolence messages and Peter's eulogy, I felt that my memories of Mary and what I have been relating to the kids this week was somewhat simple and lacking in substance. But the kids loved those stories of their Nana. Those little foibles made her a real person to them, especially Finn, who never really knew her.
For me, those memories made Mary the warm and loving mother-in-law and grandmother that I was lucky enough to have met and have as part of my family.
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Gary Vassbotn posted a condolence
Monday, April 29, 2019
Donations are welcome - Mary worked for the Cancer Society, and suffered from alzheimer's.
Thanks,
Gary
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Gary Vassbotn posted a condolence
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Here is Peter's Eulogy: Hi Everyone,
It is great to be home with family and friends to celebrate the AMAZING life
of my mom. As most of you know, Mary was not fond of long speeches. She
like things short and sweet. So mom, apologies in advance for telling a few
stories.
I want to start in my daughter’s classroom in Singapore. In Phoebe’s school
they have social skills program called THE VIRTUES PROJECT. In the Virtues
Project, children are taught that each of us is born with all the virtues we
need to succeed in life...virtues like: love, caring, resilience, excellence,
patience, persistence and so on.
Mary’s virtues shone bright, and this morning I will highlight 5 of them.
The first virtue is Courage...
Courage is the willingness to confront uncertainty
In 1954, Mary Margaret Flynn graduated from Nursing and left her safe
rural upbringing in Tamworth Ontario to live in Vancouver. I am certain her
parents (Leonard and Gertrude) were NOT exactly thrilled with their
youngest going SO FAR away. I’m sure that her siblings (Claire, Geraldine
and Gerard) had to reassure Nanna and Grandpa that their courageous and
adventurous younger sister would be fine.
Of course, it was in those Vancouver Hospital hallways that Mary won a draw
of straws to see who would care for the handsome Norwegian Sailor who had
been admitted after an accident on his ship. Rolf’s ship eventually left port,
Mary and Rolf exchanged addresses and Rolf left for Norway.
But Vancouver wasn’t enough…
Mary and her girlfriend went to Paris that summer of 1956 and although her
friend left to go home, courageous young Mary left Paris on a solo travelling
mission to visit her Norwegian friend Rolf. Can you imagine this young
Canadian woman travelling alone from Paris to Kristiansand, Norway? Mary
and Rolf travelled the fjords of Norway and they fell in love.
I wish I could have been in Nanna and Grampa’s Tamworth kitchen when the
telegram from Norway arrived from Mary, asking Grampa for permission to
get married. The reply from Grampa was short and sweet… YES YOU CAN
MARRY HIM, BUT ONLY IF YOU COME HERE TO LIVE… and the rest was
history.
Courage… Mum had so much courage, both in her youth and through her
life, and especially when Rolf passed away.
The 2nd virtue is Joyfulness….
Joyfulness is condition of supreme well-being and good spirits.
Is there any other virtue that better describes our dear Mary? Somehow
while being a SUPER MOM Mary always had the ability to exude cheer and
happiness. While others have wilted under the weight of raising 4 boys,
being a part-time nurse, managing all matters related to cooking and
cleaning, Mary always found joy in the little things in life as well as the big
things
- Her cup of tea and toasted tomato sandwich after getting the 4
boys off to school
- Catching up with her favourite soap (The Edge of NIght, later
The Young and Restless)
- Curling on the couch with her novel (Mary was a voracious
reader as you know)
- Dabbling in water colour painting while the babies napped
- Rigorous long walks on Anita Ave.
- Alone in the garden… humming a song
- The uproarious laughter of Mary and her dear sister Claire in the
kitchen at 18 Sherwood Avenue… This was pure joy for Mary
- Preparing to host bridge… and hosting bridge… JOY
- Chatting with Marie Cox on the phone.. A daily ritual.
- Sailing with Rolf on Trout Lake and Lake Nipissing - BLISS
- Tennis… Mary’s famous low ball-toss slice serve was a classic,
ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to return. Mary competed with joy, but
never took too much joy in winning
Mary felt perfectly fine balancing her love of life with her faith in God and
adherence to faith. Rolf’s younger sister in Norway, Aase Lill, once asked
Mary, “How does this go together?” Mary replied, “Jesus never told us NOT
to enjoy life… there is no contradiction in this.
Mary never begrudged the burdens in life and she embraced joyfulness. Her
joyfulness was contagious.
Thank you Mum for being so Joyful.
Mary’s 3rd virtue is Excellence….
Excellence is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses
ordinary standards.
Can you imagine what it was like to have a full day as a mother of 4, get the
kids to bed, and then at 12 midnight start an 8 hour shift as a nurse? This
was Mary’s life, 3-4 days a week for 48 years.
My wife Phyllis has asked, ‘ Why did she have to keep on nursing? Why didn’t
she take a break? “ Well, I think that in many ways, MARY WAS TAKING A
BREAK … she was taking a break from my brothers and my Dad and I!!!
Nursing was Mary’s ‘other world’... and quite frankly, it was a world that we
never totally understood or appreciated. What is clear is that Mary
epitomized EXCELLENCE in nursing.
I had a lovely chat last night with Mrs. Hyatt, the former Head Nurse at St.
Joseph’s hospital. She said that Mary was known as ‘Mother Mary’ on 3 East,
the floor where she spent most of her career at St. Joseph’s hospital. Young
nurses would learn from Mary, not just about nursing, but about life. Mary
was always eager to give advice, not just on bedside care, but also in
regards to the more important matters related to boyfriends, husbands,
travelling and pretty much all areas of life.
The 4th virtue is friendship...
Mary was great friend to so many. There are so many other virtues that are
wrapped up in friendship. Virtues like trust, unity, forgiveness, honesty,
empathy, understanding. Mary showed all these virtues in spades.
● To the nurses of St. Jo’s, Mary was more than a friend, always there to
support her comrades.
● To all her dear friends in the IODE and the North Bay Cancer Society:
Mary cherished her volunteer work and she was loved by so many.
● To those in her beloved Bridge Club… my goodness, What a formidable
and FUN group of ladies….Mary was a founding member and a dear
dear friend.
● To the old Nipissing Ridge ski gang: Every weekend Mary and Rolf
would arrive with the boys in tow. I can still hear the laughter of Mary
and all the parents on those sunny days of spring skiing, sitting on
lawn chairs at the bottom of the hill with wine glasses in hand, ready
to be served from Rolf’s classic wine skin.
● To the beloved Anita Avenue Gang, or better nicknamed, the UNEVEN
AVENUE FAMBLY:
- Marie and Gerry Cox
- Doonan and Rod McClennan
- Joan and Charlie Olmsted
- Anne and Bourke Smith
Later younger families would join the fun….
- Isabel & George Hancharyk
- June and Gerry Stewart
This gregarious group of parents celebrated life to the fullest…. Their
enthusiasm for life was matched only by their commitment to their kids. If
they were a ship, than I’d like to think that Mary was their rudder...always
keeping them on course if and when the boat tilted over too far
And finally, Mary was Rolf’s best friend. From those early car drives in
Norway, to the crazy camping trips to Turtle Lake. As Tammy Wynette said,
“Stand by your man” … Mary always had faith in Rolf, even when he did
crazy things?
“ You bought an island??? ” She screamed at him. Of course, the cottage
became a hub for new friendships and fun
… Mary was a great friend to so many….
The 5th and final virtue is caring….
A caring person is someone who shows kindness and concern for others .
If there was one thread that connects all the pieces of Mary’s life it is the
virtue of caring.
● Mary the nurse…
● Mary volunteering tirelessly for the community
● Mary visiting those in need, always putting others first…
● Mary keeping her 4 boys healthy, loved and happy…
● Mary babysitting her grandkids.. Erin, Jane, Phoebe and Fin…
● Mary by Rolf’s side till the end…
Mum had this great capacity to always help others. She never flinched, she
just on with it and always put others first.
We are so blessed to have had Mary in our life and thankful for these virtues
that she passed on to us:
Courage Joyfulness Excellence Friendship Caring
Thank you all for being here this morning.
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Barbara (Michener) James posted a condolence
Saturday, April 27, 2019
My heart is broken. I have so many wonderful memories of our great times spent together. I am so grateful for all.
My thoughts are with you.
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Dianne Armatage posted a condolence
Friday, April 26, 2019
“A life well lived leaves it’s gentle pattern on the hearts of all and the world Is a lovelier place because one person touched it with warmth and goodness and grace.”
Mary has been welcomed into the embrace of all those family members and friends who went before her. She served her God, family and community very well.
She was an amazing lady, well respected and admired.
I am very sorry for your loss, Dianne Armatage R
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Marg Randa...Midland posted a condolence
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Lots of fun memories getting fund raising dances together we all were up for costumes and themes even our husbands.
Many activities as good friends with similar interests especially skiing!
Even shared a Scandihoovian connection Alvar was descended from Finn parents.
Remember all the good times family and friends!
Marg Randa
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Deborah Wolfe purchased flowers
Thursday, April 25, 2019
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Yvonne & John Way posted a condolence
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Our deepest sympathy is extended to the Flynn ans Scanlon families. May she rest in peace.
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Rick Lewon posted a condolence
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
To Chris, Gary, Peter, Jan and your families,
I am saddened by the loss of your amazing mother. Unfortunately all good things and people must come to pass. Mary and Rolf were both very generous and loving people. They made Anita Ave a place of love and undiscribable fun for her sons and they're friends . Mary raised 4 fine men. My memories of her will always be fond because of her patients, generosity, love of skiing and tennis. I wish I could be there to celebrate her fulfilled life and support my 4 friends whom I consider brothers. On behalf of my wife Michelle, daughters Roxanna and Gemma Lewon we send our deepest sympathies. I thank Mary and the Vassbotn family or all the great childhood memories we shared. Love you always Ricky Lewon
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Mark Kent posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Please accept our condolences (Mark & Julie and Family) on the passing of Mrs V.
She was the island in a stormy sea.
She was the rudder of the boat that’s adrift.
She was the common sense when things were sketchy.
She was adventurous and some years played more tennis than me!
You guys were blessed to have a great Mom!
.........Rock On!
Mark
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Anne Plaxton lit a candle
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
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Theresa Scanlan Martin posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Oh how I mourn the loss of my aunt - my dear friend.
My Mother Clare and Mary were two angels who were mothers to 12 blessed children. (Vassbotn’s and Scanlan’s)
When I was newly married and living in Vancouver Mary and Rolf were our first visitors. As we drove by Shaugnessy Hospital Mary screamed “oh Rolf there is where we met”!!! Even after 25 years they still took great delight in each other. There’s was a love for the ages.
There are too many stories to tell about their treks to Toronto and the wonderful crazy fun times we shared. How we all fit in that little bungalow I will never know. I just remember 18 Sherwood bursting at the seams with love and laughter.
I grew up admiring her zest for life , her warm and generous heart and grateful she considered me the daughter she never had.
I will treasure the memories and miss you always my sweet Mary!
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Kathi Robb posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Dear Chris, Jan,Peter and Gary,
Very sorry to know that Aunt Mary has passed.
My Aunt Mary lit up every space that she entered. Several summers ago we shared an evening out on the town in Kingston. We had dinner, drank wine and laughed at old family stories. She looked amazing in her wild lime green mini dress and I will carry that memory of her forever. Forever young.
Peace,
love from Kathi
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Michele Van de Kaa posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
She was so beautiful. I have an angel that Mary made. She has become a cherished part of my personal Christmas tradition. When my Mum passed away, she was the person who was the most kind and caring to me. My condolences to all.
Love Michele
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Gina Ceppetelli posted a condolence
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Sincerest condolences to you and your Family Jan.
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Flynn Vassbotn uploaded photo(s)
Monday, April 22, 2019
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Hello,
My name is "Flynn". I am 8 weeks old. I came to my new home at 373 Anita Ave on Easter Monday. I am told my hair is the same colour that Mary Flynn (later Mary Vassbotn) had when she came into this world. I am honoured to carry her name!
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Flynn Vassbotn uploaded photo(s)
Monday, April 22, 2019
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Nurse Mary. "Say, Handsome sailor Rolf from Norway, can I take care of you?"
(Vancouver, long long ago)
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Torbjorn, Siren and the boys posted a condolence
Monday, April 22, 2019
From: Torbjørn Ivar Vassbotn
Dear cousins.
Sad to hear that your dear mother has passed away.
I am glad we took the trip in 2002 to see Rolf and Mary together with Solveig.
Both Mary and Rolf took really good care of Solveig and all of us.
The memories of this and the other times we met Mary are strong and good.
Her positive attitude and kindness are with us.
Like we had Solveig I am very sure you had a loving and caring mom.
They are gone now the old folks.
Its hard to grasp.
I talked a lot with Aase Lill the last years of her life.
The now gone Vassbotns had a mother with a strict religous beliefs....
I remember Aase Lill telling me she had talked to Mary about beliefs and life.
She had of course noticed Mary's visits on Sundays to the Catholic Church in Kristiansand.
This maybe after a happy Saturday night with the Family here in Norway.
Well, Aase Lill had to ask: How do this go together ?
Mary replied: Jesus never told us not to enjoy life ! On the contrary, here is is no contradiction in this Aase Lill.
I truly think Aase Lill thought Mary's combination of love of life and her Catholic tradition and faith in God was great.
I do too.
I think of you these day cousins, and your families.
Look after each other.
Goodbye Mary. Rest in peace. Together with the handsome sailor from Norway.
Love, Torbjørn, Siren and the boys.
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Gary Vassbotn posted a condolence
Monday, April 22, 2019
Great obit, Chris. She was also renowned for the quality of her garden, which drew people for wedding photos, and for her sence of fashion - she loved to look good!
What a woman!
Gary
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Monday, April 22, 2019
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